I have limitations, but this does not define me. The trick is accepting what those limitations are and how to cope with them.
Over the course of the last month (June 2019) I have been smack upside the head with all my struggles and limitations. It was terrible. One minute I was a zombie staring into space, the next so full of energy I couldn’t sit still but still had no focus. And all my worries came crashing down.
Will I ever get my farm? Will my boyfriend ever ask me to marry him? Does he even want to marry me? Will I ever have children? Will I ever get my blog to a time where it’s making decent money? Will I ever be able to quit my day job? Heck, will I ever have more than one day off of work in a row?
The list of worries just continued to grow and expand and finally I died. Not literally, I just stopped functioning as a human. I couldn’t find the motivation to write a blog post let alone go into my yarn room and play. I just sat on the couch full of worry.
That’s when I started reading about mental exhaustion and anxiety.
After one article I realized that’s exactly what was happening me. I’d met my breaking point by not taking care of my own mental health. I just keep pushing and pushing. Not exactly the good way.
I am limited.
I am not super woman.
I am only a human and I need to learn how to take care of myself first.
These statements are huge for me to understand and admit. I have always told myself I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. But when you stress yourself to the max, it’s not going to happen.
I need to learn how to find a better balance and stop putting pressure on myself to accomplish too much.
Slow down, breathe, enjoy life, and find happiness and success.
Here’s how I am starting to manage my limitations. If you’re feeling the pressures of life too, this could be a good place to start creating a mental wellness plan for yourself.
Dealing with my Mental Health
I have never been diagnosed with anxiety but I can tell you that I have it. And this last month with Anxiety has been a struggle.
What exactly is anxiety? It can be different for everyone. The basic description of anxiety is extreme worry about situations, both imagined and real. A lot of this worry comes from looking into the future instead of living in the present.
Just take a look at my ‘will I’ list above and you can see where my anxiety takes me. Deep down the rabbit hole.
It’s like there will never be light at the end of the dark tunnel of tasks and goals to accomplish. And everything just piles up and up and up. It overwhelms everything about you and your life. Eventually, you just want to curl up in a tight ball and sleep away everything.
And that’s what I was doing. I’d go to work in the mornings, put on my happy face and get through the morning. Come home get lunch, treat the fur babies, shower, and promptly take a nap.
I’m not talking an hour nap. Nope, I’d sleep 3-4 hours! And then when I woke up I’d be angry I wasted all that time and got nothing accomplished and so my stress levels elevated once again. It is a vicious cycle.
I needed to figure out something to help me get past all this mental anxiety and stress.
In one of my ‘I’m too stressed out to function’ times I managed to pick up my tablet and start researching mental health and anxiety solutions.
Here is what I found that helps with mental exhaustion and anxiety:
- Yoga
- A warm cup of liquid (tea or coffee)
- Taking time for you
- Meditating
- Exercise
- Medication
- Seeing a psychologist
- Keep a Journal
Yoga
I have ALWAYS wanted to try yoga. I just always found excuses not to give it a go. I’m a typical woman. I have body image issues, so I’d rather not be part of a class. Besides, I don’t have the money to join a class and trying to find the right time to drive to the class could be a problem.
Doing yoga at home seems perfect. It’s just finding the time to fit it in my schedule.
Well, after my crazy June, I have decided I will MAKE time for yoga. I started a 30-day Beginners Yoga challenge on July 5th. I’m going to power through it and hopefully make it a habit. Except, I didn’t… But I’m going to try again this month! And this time, Bret has agreed to do yoga with me, yay!
I told myself, I have to do this 30-day challenge. If at the end of the 30 days I don’t like yoga, then I don’t have to do anymore yoga. If I decide I like it, then I’m going to make it a personal goal to practice yoga everyday.
If you don’t know, yoga has A LOT of benefits. It’s a relaxing form of exercise. It can help with mental health, muscle strength, and fitness. I’m hoping yoga will help me find myself, improve my own body image, and overall make me a healthier human.
*I’ll be sure to write the occasional post about how I’m doing with yoga.
A Warm Cup of Liquid
This one I have been doing for years! Whenever I’m feeling unfocused or stressed out a warm cup of tea always centers me.
I just love the feel of the warm cup in my cold hands, the steam clears my head and makes me smile. The tea itself is yummy and feels so good in my tummy.
Drinking tea has always been a very calming, relaxing activity for me. If you like coffee, try that. I personally don’t like coffee, so I’ll stick to my tea.
Taking Time for You
This is a hard one for me.
I always feel like I have to be doing something productive with my time. If I take the time to read a book I feel guilty about the time I wasted.
That is a habit I need to break. Me time is great for you mental health. Doing something just for you, just because can does wonders for your mind. You should not feel guilty about it.
I find planning me time into my schedule helps me be less guilty. If I know I’m going to have a 2 hour block of time where I don’t have anything pressing to get done I can relax and stare at a wall if I want without feeling guilty.
Still working on this one, but I highly recommend me time.
Meditating
Breathe in…. and out….
I’m too on the go for this one. That’s what yoga is for. When doing yoga you are doing breathing exercises and meditating while stretching. I think meditating while doing something even just simple stretches, helps me.
But hey, if you think meditating is something you can do, do it. Once again it is great for the mind and spirit.
I just know personally, this one will not work for me.
Exercise
I admire people who run everyday. I wish I could run every day. I tried once. I made it two days and then my bad knee swelled up and I had a hard time doing my job. I stopped running after that.
Exercise does wonders for both the body and soul. Just like yoga, set aside 20 minutes a day to exercise. Luckily for me, I found walks can be just as effective as running.
I love taking walks in parks and even going on some hiking trails to challenge my walks. Though I have to be aware of my knees since they’re so bad. Always wear good walking shoes with excellent supports. I’m bad at this one. I’m a huge fan of no socks, sandals. Not exactly good for my knees, but my feet are happy.
Medication
See a doctor about this one.
I was traumatized by medications when I was younger so I’m very wary of taking medications now. For instance, I’d rather suffer through pain than take an Ibuprofen. I’m starting to get a little better with this, but I’d still rather use other remedies like tea, before meds.
Though, I’ve heard good things about anxiety medication, so if this is the right path for you go for it.
See a Psychologist
If only I had the money…. This has got to be the best thing ever to have. I mean you are paying someone to listen to your problems, without judgement, and working out the craziness in your head. The best part? You don’t have to listen to any of their problems and you don’t have to feel guilty about laying out your issues because, hey, it’s their job to listen to you.
This is what I use my close friends and boyfriend for. Not as often as I probably should, but I’m not a fan of laying my problems on them. Only the ones that I can’t work through by myself. Of course I return the favor.
I’m a great listener and I’ve been told I give pretty decent advise.
Keep a Journal
Keep a positive only journal, not a diary.
I really like this idea. Every day at the end of the day, write down all the positive things that happened to you throughout the day. Even the little things! Don’t hold back anything!
*A stranger held the door for me.
*I practiced my yoga today!
*My boyfriend picked a flower for me. He’s so cute!
All the little things will add up and seeing them helps remind you your world is great. It’s a great way to retrain your brain to think in positives, not negatives which will help with all your worries and stress.
For those of you who are always thinking about how you didn’t accomplish enough that day, like me, this will record your accomplishments and make you feel a little better about that nap, or me time. I’m going to start doing this and hopefully it will relieve some of my negative thinking and stress.
My Plan
I’m going to use a combination of the list above to help with my mental health starting this month.
I will continue to drink my tea. I’m pretty sure I drink at least two cups a day. On bad days, I sometimes drink up to 4 cups. I have an excellent tea cupboard and an electric tea kettle is a must in my kitchen.
I will work a 20-30 minute yoga workout into everyday. If I miss a day, I will just catch up the next day. I’m hoping to turn this into a habit. And better yet, Bret has expressed an interest in doing yoga with me. I think having a yoga buddy will keep me on track. I’m excited to see how it goes.
I’ve established ‘work’ hours and time for me. I plan to create some down time for me everyday. Whether it is spent napping, playing with the fur children, reading, taking a bath, a walk, or staring at a wall, I will not feel guilty about it. I’ll practice living in the moment and just enjoy the simple things.
Finally, I am going to attempt to write in a positive only journal. I try to be a positive person where ever I am. I want to expand that in my head. No more negative Nancy time for me. I’d like to start thinking on the bright side of everything instead of dreading the negative.
What is your plan to keep yourself sane? I’d love to hear about what you do to stay mentally healthy and positive.
Wish me luck!
-Ashli